Less than a month to go until my due date. WOW.
I am excited, impatient, ready, not ready, willing to wait longer, not yet nervous, already nesting, scatterbrained, insomnified (if that's not a word, it is now), making lists, checking things off, making new lists, sewing, crafting, coughing, sneezing, breathing in the coming spring, cleaning, organizing, sighing, contracting, drinking tea, talking to the little one, asking "Just wait until April 2nd..."
That's me in a nutshell. It's a beautiful day.
Friday, March 14, 2008
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Apology
Dear Readers,
I'm sorry I've been grumpy lately. There's something about myself that I want to explain, so you will maybe understand me a little better.
To my blog and my friends, I may (okay, not just may, but do) complain too much. Because I can, to you. Overall, this pregnancy has been a good one, since I have nothing bad to report, no complications or difficulties other than some minor annoyances. But it's safe to complain to my family and friends--they know and accept me, they listen and they don't question things like my plans for midwifery care and homebirth.
To the outside world, I have to put on a different face. The rosy, cheerful, "everything-is-great" face. I feel it's my job to project the vitality of pregnancy, the normalcy of natural birth and be a positive influence on their opinions of doulas and midwives. That's why I don't believe in venting to the "public" -- I prefer to educate on a positive note rather than try to prove a negative point.
It can take a lot of energy to do that. When I let it out to you, it's because it gets tiring to handle it all and still show a smiling, "I feel good!" attitude to the world. And I do feel good. Most of the time. I want you to know that. And I want to thank you for making me feel safe about resting my head on your shoulder in those moments that I don't feel so good. Because I appreciate the support. Always.
Love,
Little Bit
I'm sorry I've been grumpy lately. There's something about myself that I want to explain, so you will maybe understand me a little better.
To my blog and my friends, I may (okay, not just may, but do) complain too much. Because I can, to you. Overall, this pregnancy has been a good one, since I have nothing bad to report, no complications or difficulties other than some minor annoyances. But it's safe to complain to my family and friends--they know and accept me, they listen and they don't question things like my plans for midwifery care and homebirth.
To the outside world, I have to put on a different face. The rosy, cheerful, "everything-is-great" face. I feel it's my job to project the vitality of pregnancy, the normalcy of natural birth and be a positive influence on their opinions of doulas and midwives. That's why I don't believe in venting to the "public" -- I prefer to educate on a positive note rather than try to prove a negative point.
It can take a lot of energy to do that. When I let it out to you, it's because it gets tiring to handle it all and still show a smiling, "I feel good!" attitude to the world. And I do feel good. Most of the time. I want you to know that. And I want to thank you for making me feel safe about resting my head on your shoulder in those moments that I don't feel so good. Because I appreciate the support. Always.
Love,
Little Bit
Less stressed
Two days into March now. After having an emotional breakdown the other day (which is sometimes necessary, though unpleasant), things are more under control. The school carnival is behind us. It was fun, I got to volunteer by sitting on my butt in the shade (while helping out the two classroom booths my kids belong to) and hubby with his brother took the kids around to the rides and attractions. We also scored a Baby Basket in the Silent Auction -- it's full of onesies, little socks, wipes, bath stuff, baby books, picture frames and, get this, the wicker basket is the perfect size and shape to pack all my homebirth supplies into. Hey, I'm happy with it all the way around!
The to-do list is also whittled down. I washed the sheets. We ordered the baby's carseat. Today, hubby is shopping with his mom for baby stuff, and I'm home sewing and prepping the birth supplies basket. He said he would assemble the bassinette when he gets home this evening. Now that everything is coming together, I'm feeling soooo much better.
Sometimes the tears of a good cry can help wash your emotional home. How's that for a sappy new saying?
The to-do list is also whittled down. I washed the sheets. We ordered the baby's carseat. Today, hubby is shopping with his mom for baby stuff, and I'm home sewing and prepping the birth supplies basket. He said he would assemble the bassinette when he gets home this evening. Now that everything is coming together, I'm feeling soooo much better.
Sometimes the tears of a good cry can help wash your emotional home. How's that for a sappy new saying?
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Stressed
Four birthday parties.
School carnival.
Donation committee.
Dentist appointment.
Haircuts.
School.
Catechism.
Gymnastics.
Dance.
Swim lessons.
Field trips.
Chiropractor.
Prenatals.
Board meetings.
Birth Circle.
Easter.
Jury duty.
That’s just the four weeks of March. And I’m supposed to find time to get ready to have a baby?
Getting ready for baby to-do list:
Cook & freeze meals.
Sew burp cloths, changing pad covers, receiving blankets.
Find and wash missing newborn diapers, baby sling, rebozos.
Scrub shower and replace curtain.
Wash new sheets.
Put together birth supplies basket.
Assemble bassinette.
Clean house.
What was that I was told about enjoying the end of my last pregnancy? HA! WHEN?
School carnival.
Donation committee.
Dentist appointment.
Haircuts.
School.
Catechism.
Gymnastics.
Dance.
Swim lessons.
Field trips.
Chiropractor.
Prenatals.
Board meetings.
Birth Circle.
Easter.
Jury duty.
That’s just the four weeks of March. And I’m supposed to find time to get ready to have a baby?
Getting ready for baby to-do list:
Cook & freeze meals.
Sew burp cloths, changing pad covers, receiving blankets.
Find and wash missing newborn diapers, baby sling, rebozos.
Scrub shower and replace curtain.
Wash new sheets.
Put together birth supplies basket.
Assemble bassinette.
Clean house.
What was that I was told about enjoying the end of my last pregnancy? HA! WHEN?
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Why did I...
Just spend $50 to order a stroller part when I am trying to figure out how to clothe this new baby on the cheap?
Cuz it's for the stroller I paid $200 for five years ago, and I can't bear to part with it.
When E. was a baby, I found this great deal on a Peg Perego Plikomatic (it was a great deal at the time). This stroller has been through everything with us, it folds up like an umbrella stroller (tho a bit on the chunky side) and has a rearboard step for an older child to hitch a ride. I researched strollers for months when I was pregnant with her... this is what I settled on. So when the seat got a hole, I knew I was going to replace the seat, not the whole stroller.
A bit obsessive? Not more so than the friend who buys a different stroller every three months. (You know who you are.) At least she buys used/recycled in her quest for the perfect stroller. Despite that, she has probably spent more on strollers than I have, and I'm only up to $250. (You know this is all said with love, natch!)
So, anyways, I'll be washing up the Peg (which hasn't been used in a good, uh, year or so) and putting on the new seat when it gets here, all ready for the new babe ride around in style... when it's not in a carrier or sling that is. (Another obsession, more on that later.)
Oh my, this is real! There is a baby on its way!
Cuz it's for the stroller I paid $200 for five years ago, and I can't bear to part with it.
When E. was a baby, I found this great deal on a Peg Perego Plikomatic (it was a great deal at the time). This stroller has been through everything with us, it folds up like an umbrella stroller (tho a bit on the chunky side) and has a rearboard step for an older child to hitch a ride. I researched strollers for months when I was pregnant with her... this is what I settled on. So when the seat got a hole, I knew I was going to replace the seat, not the whole stroller.
A bit obsessive? Not more so than the friend who buys a different stroller every three months. (You know who you are.) At least she buys used/recycled in her quest for the perfect stroller. Despite that, she has probably spent more on strollers than I have, and I'm only up to $250. (You know this is all said with love, natch!)
So, anyways, I'll be washing up the Peg (which hasn't been used in a good, uh, year or so) and putting on the new seat when it gets here, all ready for the new babe ride around in style... when it's not in a carrier or sling that is. (Another obsession, more on that later.)
Oh my, this is real! There is a baby on its way!
Monday, February 11, 2008
Five. Cinco. Cinque. Cinq. Öt.
AnimatedSocialIntenseLivelyEnergetic
Little girl, you are my star. A dancer, chef, socialite, daredevil, rule-breaker, rule-follower, artist, explorer, animal rescuer, counselor, comedian, foodie, fashionista. (What are you going to wear when you outgrow that purple skirt?) Your sense of humor, indignation at unfairness, and emotional intensity keep me on my toes, always wondering what will come next from your amazing brain. Your "imaginary watch" tracks your own special time as if you live in a different continuum than the rest of us. You constantly rewrite your own history through your stories about all the extraordinary things that happened when you "were a baby." I can only imagine what kind of history you will help create for the new sibling you are so eagerly and impatiently awaiting. You are ready to be a big sister, a second mommy to the baby, and knowing you, this little one will worship you (just as you plan for it to).
A born entertainer, you captivate everyone we meet, capture their heart with your antics (which other five-year-old could hold their own in a sushi-eating contest?), then you invite them to your birthday party. The samples lady at Costco was right: you are one of a kind. The world has never had anyone else like you.
Happy fifth birthday, baby.
Little girl, you are my star. A dancer, chef, socialite, daredevil, rule-breaker, rule-follower, artist, explorer, animal rescuer, counselor, comedian, foodie, fashionista. (What are you going to wear when you outgrow that purple skirt?) Your sense of humor, indignation at unfairness, and emotional intensity keep me on my toes, always wondering what will come next from your amazing brain. Your "imaginary watch" tracks your own special time as if you live in a different continuum than the rest of us. You constantly rewrite your own history through your stories about all the extraordinary things that happened when you "were a baby." I can only imagine what kind of history you will help create for the new sibling you are so eagerly and impatiently awaiting. You are ready to be a big sister, a second mommy to the baby, and knowing you, this little one will worship you (just as you plan for it to).
A born entertainer, you captivate everyone we meet, capture their heart with your antics (which other five-year-old could hold their own in a sushi-eating contest?), then you invite them to your birthday party. The samples lady at Costco was right: you are one of a kind. The world has never had anyone else like you.
Happy fifth birthday, baby.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Lucky me!
Hubby's grandmother is staying with us this week. It makes me so happy to have her here. She used to live with us when I was working full-time, she took care of my kids and was a huge help around the house. I have really missed her presence, stories and teaching since we moved here.
We share so many common interests, despite the nearly 50 year gap between us. She believes in parenting much the same way I do, she teaches me how to cook the Mexican foods my mother never did, she gently corrects my Spanish, and she shows me sewing techniques that I always thought were too hard to bother with.
My husband and his mom get tired of her stories and the "embellishments" she adds to the retelling of family lore, but it never gets old to me. She may walk slowly, not see very well anymore and forget things, but she has so much energy and patience to spare. I treasure her like she is my own grandmother. The plan is that she will come back and be with us a while when this new baby is born. She is always very busy with her grandchildren--new ones are born every year, numbering more than forty in grands and greats. But she loves my kids with a special, tender love that makes us feel first in her heart (not that it matters, but it does, KWIM?).
Oh, and we are eating sopes tonight. YUM.
Did I tell you that I'm lucky?!
We share so many common interests, despite the nearly 50 year gap between us. She believes in parenting much the same way I do, she teaches me how to cook the Mexican foods my mother never did, she gently corrects my Spanish, and she shows me sewing techniques that I always thought were too hard to bother with.
My husband and his mom get tired of her stories and the "embellishments" she adds to the retelling of family lore, but it never gets old to me. She may walk slowly, not see very well anymore and forget things, but she has so much energy and patience to spare. I treasure her like she is my own grandmother. The plan is that she will come back and be with us a while when this new baby is born. She is always very busy with her grandchildren--new ones are born every year, numbering more than forty in grands and greats. But she loves my kids with a special, tender love that makes us feel first in her heart (not that it matters, but it does, KWIM?).
Oh, and we are eating sopes tonight. YUM.
Did I tell you that I'm lucky?!
Friday, January 18, 2008
Pregnancy update
Well, I guess I should post an update while I'm still pregnant... because if I procrastinate any longer, it will be April and baby will be here!
That's how fast it seems this pregnancy is going. I can't believe I'm already in the third trimester. Time needs to slow down (really slow, because I don't want to turn 36 in two days, nope, don't wanna). I'm enjoying it, for the most part. I love being pregnant, I love the feeling of blossoming and growing a baby. I'm lucky in many ways -- I don't tend to gain a lot of weight, I don't really crave junk food (don't have that much of an appetite, really), my blood pressure is good, I don't get a lot of swelling. So I don't have many complaints, especially since I've been seeing a chiropractor consistently throughout this pregnancy, so the lower back and lower abdomen pain I experienced with my two girls is under control. So is the heartburn (although it's still early for that, I know it's coming).
One thing that is bothering me is the regularity of Braxton-Hicks contractions. I get them frequently, when my bladder is full, when I don't drink enough water, when I move too fast, when I walk too far. So annoying.
The other annoyance has been my OB/GYN. I'm planning a homebirth, so I have been seeing both the OB and a midwife. I started with the OB for the purpose of sustaining this pregnancy--after three first-trimester miscarriages, I wanted to make sure that I am able to carry at least one more past my "danger point" of 9 weeks. The early blood tests suggested low progesterone levels, so I went on a supplement until 14 weeks, then weaned off it. Both the midwife and OB agreed that I could do co-care... but the OB's office has hassled me at every visit to get a pap smear. I have declined every time, but they won't leave me alone about it. There are other tests coming up that I want to decline--GD and GBS--and I don't want to be hassled for those either. So now I have to get the nerve up to call the OB's office and dump them. Or at least thank them for their help and let them know (nicely) that I'm not coming back. As a doula, I don't want to burn any bridges, ya know?
So far the plans for the homebirth include a birth tub, my midwife, my doula, a few other close friends and family members... and that's about it. All the other plans are unformed in the swirling clouds of the nether regions of my brain. In some ways I feel disconnected from the birth experience because I am not placing expectations upon it... I am so open to whatever happens that I don't feel the need to plan it out. I just know that the birth tub will be here waiting, that my labors have been long and painful in the past, and that I want to just relax the baby out. How's that for a birth plan?
What else is there to say about the pregnancy? My girls are impatiently ecstatic. My preschooler asks me every day if my tummy is big enough for the baby to come out yet. My seven-year-old talks to the baby and gives me neckrubs. This child, girl or boy, is going to have many mothers, including its two sisters.
Girl or boy? Gosh, after "What's your due date?" this is the next most-asked question. I simply say, "It's a surprise." The reaction is pretty split: either, "Oh my gosh, I don't know how you can stand not knowing, I would have to know!"; or "Good for you." I prefer the latter. We have definite predictions around here--hubby and preschooler both think it's a girl, my older daughter and I both think it's a boy. We'll see.
That's it for now, I'll post another update with more info later.
That's how fast it seems this pregnancy is going. I can't believe I'm already in the third trimester. Time needs to slow down (really slow, because I don't want to turn 36 in two days, nope, don't wanna). I'm enjoying it, for the most part. I love being pregnant, I love the feeling of blossoming and growing a baby. I'm lucky in many ways -- I don't tend to gain a lot of weight, I don't really crave junk food (don't have that much of an appetite, really), my blood pressure is good, I don't get a lot of swelling. So I don't have many complaints, especially since I've been seeing a chiropractor consistently throughout this pregnancy, so the lower back and lower abdomen pain I experienced with my two girls is under control. So is the heartburn (although it's still early for that, I know it's coming).
One thing that is bothering me is the regularity of Braxton-Hicks contractions. I get them frequently, when my bladder is full, when I don't drink enough water, when I move too fast, when I walk too far. So annoying.
The other annoyance has been my OB/GYN. I'm planning a homebirth, so I have been seeing both the OB and a midwife. I started with the OB for the purpose of sustaining this pregnancy--after three first-trimester miscarriages, I wanted to make sure that I am able to carry at least one more past my "danger point" of 9 weeks. The early blood tests suggested low progesterone levels, so I went on a supplement until 14 weeks, then weaned off it. Both the midwife and OB agreed that I could do co-care... but the OB's office has hassled me at every visit to get a pap smear. I have declined every time, but they won't leave me alone about it. There are other tests coming up that I want to decline--GD and GBS--and I don't want to be hassled for those either. So now I have to get the nerve up to call the OB's office and dump them. Or at least thank them for their help and let them know (nicely) that I'm not coming back. As a doula, I don't want to burn any bridges, ya know?
So far the plans for the homebirth include a birth tub, my midwife, my doula, a few other close friends and family members... and that's about it. All the other plans are unformed in the swirling clouds of the nether regions of my brain. In some ways I feel disconnected from the birth experience because I am not placing expectations upon it... I am so open to whatever happens that I don't feel the need to plan it out. I just know that the birth tub will be here waiting, that my labors have been long and painful in the past, and that I want to just relax the baby out. How's that for a birth plan?
What else is there to say about the pregnancy? My girls are impatiently ecstatic. My preschooler asks me every day if my tummy is big enough for the baby to come out yet. My seven-year-old talks to the baby and gives me neckrubs. This child, girl or boy, is going to have many mothers, including its two sisters.
Girl or boy? Gosh, after "What's your due date?" this is the next most-asked question. I simply say, "It's a surprise." The reaction is pretty split: either, "Oh my gosh, I don't know how you can stand not knowing, I would have to know!"; or "Good for you." I prefer the latter. We have definite predictions around here--hubby and preschooler both think it's a girl, my older daughter and I both think it's a boy. We'll see.
That's it for now, I'll post another update with more info later.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
I feel so lame
I am officially sucked in. I have cowed to the media hype. I have become a cog in the machine that is Disney's Hannah Montana.
Tonight I bought advance tickets to the nearly sold-out movie showing of "Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Disney Digital 3D."
Ugh. Help me.
Tonight I bought advance tickets to the nearly sold-out movie showing of "Hannah Montana & Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Disney Digital 3D."
Ugh. Help me.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Ironic?
I got a new label maker for Christmas. I can't wait to use it! Now I can mark all the storage bins, tag drawers, organize clutter into neat(er) homes. But I have to wait. Why? Because hubby misplaced the brand-new pack of batteries that we bought to load into all the portable, battery-powered Christmas gifts.
SIGH!
SIGH!
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